One of my earlier jobs was
working in a store. There, I had to deal
with total strangers, and whilst doing so, make them my best friends very
quickly.
A part-time colleague gave me a
hint as to how to make this happen – simply tell your customers something
funny, along the lines of a quick, clean joke.
People who smiled were more likely to buy something, he said.
In order to accomplish this goal
I needed to learn copious amounts of clean jokes that were funny, to break the
ice. And my colleague was right; smiling
people were money-spending people.
It wasn’t long before my
commission sales skyrocketed, making me the district sales leader for three
consecutive months.
This morning I spent nearly
20-minutes cleaning up the kitchen table, tossing out today’s newspaper, and
making a fresh cup of coffee, to replace the cup I spit out 21-minutes earlier
while listening to a television commercial.
I spend the mornings enjoying a
cop of strong coffee while reading the fake news from yesterday in the form of
the local newspaper. I don’t believe
much of what appears therein, but that’s another story for another time.
During my daily ritual, I have
the television on in the background so that I may listen to news while I’m
simultaneously reading it – something corporate America
On the television appeared a
commercial for something that took me back to my store clerk days of yore, joke
telling.
Here were two adults, a man and a
woman, neither of which looked as though they were kicked in the head by a
mule. They enunciated each word and
pleasantly smiled during their spiel, and actually directed my attention to
hear what they were saying.
Their important-sounding sales
pitch was for something called a “hat”.
You read that right. They were selling a hat – actually a
baseball-style cap – that possessed magical powers.
Those last words were mine
because I was too consumed by multi-tasking to actually hear all the words in
order. Nonetheless, this ball cap was
touted not only as a really cool-looking head cover, but also a money-back
guaranteed medical device.
It seems as though my life has
been incomplete because I didn’t have this headwear in my closet or on my head.
Now for the magic part.
 |
| The magic hat |
According to the TV ad, if you
simply wear this cap you will be able to re-grow hair on your head. I suppose if, while you were overheated, you
placed it on your knee, you would grow hair on your knee to rival an ape. But I digress.
Apparently this special ball cap utilizes
batteries to power the series of lasers that line the inside of this cap. Those lasers are alleged to stimulate
re-growth of hair follicles thereby creating a head of hair that would make
Fabio blush.
Again, that last sentence was
what I heard, and may or may not reflect what words were exactly implied. I was busy, though.
Static pictures of before and
after hair models were splashed on the screen, implying these results could resemble
you in the near future.
It was about this time my Keurig
coffee was spat across the kitchen table.
I immediately recalled my retail joke days.
Although most of my jokes were
clean, they were not funny although they broke the ice.
This laser infused ball cap that
could re grow hair was very funny.
I’m going to pass this onto my
barber.
