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Monday, February 26, 2018

He Was Right




It’s generally acknowledged that Mark Twain popularized the phrase, “Lies, damned lies, and statistics.”  Those words are often used to bolster weak arguments through the use of statistics.



The reason this phrase came to my mind is because I recently lost another person on my list of acquaintances, friends, relatives, lovers, and enemies.  This list is getting shorter and shorter by the day, and I needed a bit of sane analysis for this trend.

Nothing says "class" like a camouflage-lined casket


Recalling some of the television and radio programs I regularly tune-in, many have been fixated on health matters, lately.



In recent years, America has been flooded with professional National Anthem kneelers donning pink socks, decals, and uniform patches, for specially-designated months to make people aware of women’s breast cancer.



Magnetic pink ribbons and nearly non-stop public service announcements repeatedly blast public America about finding a cure for this killer disease.



Just a few short years prior, we were inundated with the socially conscious of us wearing cheesy rubber bracelets, whose sale money went toward financing that ever-elusive cure.



Those causes included too many to mention here, but incorporated cancer, heart disease, spousal abuse, and clean water.



But to get back to those statistical mistruths from Mr. Twain, I thought it would be prudent to visit the interweb.  (Yep, I just conjured that word up.)



I quickly located many sites willing to help me get to the basics of why people die.



I queried “Number one killer in America.”



Oddly enough, boredom from watching Alec Baldwin movies was not one of them.



The answer from the U.S. Center for Disease Control was heart disease.  There were all sorts of varying qualifiers, though.  “In 2003, over 1,000,000 American men died of heart disease or one of nine other leading causes of death.”



Huh?



“Men are more likely than women to die from most of these causes.”



So what are those other nine?  Cancer, unintentional injuries, stroke, COPD, diabetes, influenza and pneumonia, suicide, kidney disease, and Alzheimer’s disease, is the list the CDC provided, in that order.



So I checked on the number one cause of death among women in America.



It seems as though heart disease is also numero uno in killing women.

 

But, but, but…



Yes, heart disease, not breast cancer, not poor parallel parking skills, not spending too much on purses; heart disease is the number one killer of women in America.



So armed with this newly acquired powerful information I set out to get to something definitive.



Men’s Health states “men are victims in 4 out of 5 homicides.  For African American men, who are victims 7 times more often than European American men, homicide is the fourth leading cause of death, and the number one killer for those ages 15 to 24.”



I read and reread this above paragraph seven times and now I’m only 40% sure about half of what I could comprehend.  There’s nothing like twisting the “facts.”



It just seems smarmy when statisticians need to include not only sex, but race in their formulae to justify making a point.



After all this combing the interweb, I discovered Mr. Twain was correct in his evaluation of number data. And, I now realize everyone is going to die regardless of the cause.



Bottom line: Just enjoy life while you can and hope you’re not a friend or acquaintance of mine, otherwise your days appear to be numbered.