It seems as through each year we
find another distraction from life in the form of entertainment. This year is no different.
One year in the 1960’s, the big
distraction was the Hula Hoop. It
didn’t take long for those plastic rings to appear on television shows in the
form of competition, in the movies luring hunky guys in California
and Hawaii , and eventually trash cans across America
Another year it was a contraption
that allowed kids to create giant bubbles.
One year the mass-diversion was the Razor scooter, and roller skates
were the passion. Eventually those
evolved into yet another rage as those popular roller skates evolved into
rollerblades.
Soon, hospitals across the nation
were full of broken bone patients as the distractions moved to more sedate
activities such as collecting stuffed animals, Pokemon junk, and colored rubber
bands to make fashionable jewelry. Oh
yeah.
Today we find ourselves totally
recuperated and ready to support a whole new generation of professional first
and second responders.
The newest American diversion is
the kayak. Yes, not only dangerous on
land, but also possibly deadly in the water, kayaks seem to be the link between
life and death.
If you haven’t left your living
room in a decade, a kayak is similar to a canoe, only more treacherous.
These Inuit hybrid creations can
be found all over the Eastern Shore , and
beyond. A key element to using one is
water, and The Shore has plenty of it.
They can be rented by the hour,
day, or week. Alas, they cannot be
rented by the minute because rentals would be quickly returned, otherwise.
For your information, the first
lesson before a rental kayak can be used is clearly laid out in the rental
agreement. You have no rights, as your
heirs don’t either. Life jackets are
important. And, the first maneuver
learned is how to upright the capsized vessel.
Nonetheless, these death traps
are all the rage.
They can be had in plastic or
wood. Even Walmart sells them. They are visible on the roof of every yuppie’s
electric car, and prominently displayed at all the bicycle and umbrella rental
joints. Prices vary.
If you stand near the marsh,
inlet, and bay shores, you can easily catch a glimpse of one of these unstable
boats being piloted by equally unstable thrill-seekers.
You can usually hear them
coming. The dead give-away is one person
yelling at their partner, or kids, to “hurry-up and paddle; we ain’t got all
day!”
I intentionally left out the
“stop crying” part so as not to indict the patriarchs in child custody court.
In any case, if you really want
one of these vacation/morale boosters, just wait until next year. You’ll be able to get one at your local
second-hand store for pennies on the dollar.
Until then, wear your life
jackets!
