If you didn’t read the title of this masterpiece, please go
back and read it; I’ll wait.
This is for all those people – especially men – who don’t
believe those words. Yes, women know
those words to be true but, those who are ladies don’t offer such advice, in
public.
In essence, I’m talking about men with their rubber
products.
It seems as though Crusty had to learn the hard way with
some accompanying embarrassment. Alas,
here’s the story.
With an ardent desire to drown some worms with his
neighbors, Crusty proudly offered his pontoon boat up for the task. As per usual, neither Crusty nor his pontoon
boat was ready to stray anywhere near the water.
The boat was up on cinder blocks because he needed to paint
the pontoons. Getting the boat back onto
the trailer would be a normally easy job, by backing the trailer under the boat
and lowering it on the trailer.
Involving jacking the boat up high enough to clear the
trailer, once situated below the boat, the jack is lowered and the blocks are
removed. The pontoons hang over the
sides of the trailer – next to the tires – with the deck of the boat resting on
the trailer for support. Pretty simple,
actually.
It was one of the two pesky tires that decided to burst when
the boat loaded. Wouldn’t you know that
aged, cracked sidewalls present an omen toward the longevity of the ride.
With one tire out of commission, it was time to re-raise the
boat off the trailer and fetch a new tire.
As will all millionaires, Crusty made his by being, well,
frugal. He would rather buy used
underwear than spend $2.50 for a new pair.
A trip to the tire shop helped him locate a tire that was a
bit larger than the old one, but also a bit cheaper than the correct size.
The tire goes back on the trailer, the trailer is backed
beneath the boat, the boat is jacked up – again – and the cinder blocks are
removed, once more. Success!
It is only a three block drive to the marina’s boat
launching ramp but, far enough for the ending of this adventure.
In an attempt to impress his fishing chums, he piled them
all into the boat for a short jaunt to the water. With the harbor in sight, a din of hollering
emerged from the gallery of Crusty fans which Crusty took as a positive thing.
Because that new tire was a bit too large, it managed to
create a trail of smoke by rubbing against one of the pontoons. Those were not cheers of success; rather they
were shouts for the fire department and a cry for Crusty to stop driving.
Not to worry, as the hole worn into the pontoon could be
patched with some magic Crusty elixir and duct tape. Unfortunately, that fishing trip was
cancelled and everyone escaped with their lives.
There you have it: size matters.
