It’s amusing when people attempt to appear smarter than they
really are. For some unknown reason,
people attempt to use really, really big words in normal, daily conversations
with awkward results.
Others, though, use “regular” words with disastrous results,
too. A recently aired TV ad selling
dry-eye moistener of some sort depicted a real doctor speaking in a soft
monotone. This doctor uses the word
“often,” and uses it by pronouncing the letter “t.”
We all have our little quirks that make us shiver with pain
by others who scratch their fingernails on blackboards, or wildly scream the
last few bars of The National Anthem, or those who mix stripes and plaids. My personal little quirk is listening to
those who missed some English classes and try to inject the silent “t” into the
word “often.”
No, I’m not a language cop but, just as people sporting
‘difficult’ names such as D’Lashondia or Arphontius get angry when others
mispronounce their monikers, I also have trouble with people not attending
school, for which I subsidized, and then making me suffer for their poor study
habits.
I once corrected someone who used ‘often’ often. It wasn’t long before my ears reached
kindling temperature when I blurted out, “The “t” in “often” is silent.”
“No it ain’t!” was the Eastern Shore
retort from the Easter Shor-on.
Recognizing I had met my match, I fielded the question, “How
do you pronounce the letters S-A-L-M-O-N?”
A sense of bewilderment overcame this potential Mensa member
who kept glancing at me for a clue.
“Salmon,” I offered.
His response was equally annoying by pronouncing the letter
“l.”
“You was tryin’ to fool me, right?” he shot back.
“That’s it! You must
have been the valedictorian of your class!” I said in an effort to quell the
somewhat volatile situation that was rapidly unfolding.
“No!” he shouted. I
eat meat. I ain’t no ‘valedictorian’!”
ended the conversation.
But, to those readers who pronounce the “t” in often, I ask
how do you pronounce other words that have ‘silent’ letters?
Castle, whistle, knight, honest, and salmon, of course, are
just a few that quickly come to mind.
I’m certain you’ll find your own and recall this story about
both English faux pas and Eastern Shor -ons.
By the way, a ‘Shor-on’ is someone who brings the best of
Shore life along with their inner moron.
