58

 

  August 27, 28, and 29, 2025, was evidently chock-full o’ gun play in the Windy City, Chicago, Illinois.

The “58” in the title represents the number of people shot in Chi-town over that long weekend – Labor Day Weekend, with at least eight killed. Not an insignificant amount carnage by the wildest imagination.

It’s clear the Chicago Police Department is unable to control, much less prevent, violent crime. That’s their job. Chicago’s mayor, gasbag Brandon Johnson, whose approval rating currently stands as 5%, is very, very busy fighting President Donald Trump’s efforts to send National Guardsmen into Chicago to aid in crime fighting. His approval rating is just below contracting syphilis.

With proven results from the latest effort to stifle similar out-of-control crime in Washington, D.C., our nation’s capital, President Trump used the National Guard to reduce carjackings 87%, and murders for a ten-day period a whopping 100%!

Statistics such as these clearly demonstrate how effective the ardent efforts of The President are in saving largely African-American lives due to a policy change thereby stopping black-on-black shootings. By the way, where’s Black Lives Matter?

BLM's brilliant solution to crime

It’s a good thing Illinois gubenor Democrat JB Pritzker was smart enough to figure out just what President Trump is doing, and what he is attempting to do in the near future.

Pritzker said, “Over the weekend, we learned from the media that Donald Trump has been planning, for quite a while now, to deploy armed military personnel to the streets of Chicago. This is exactly the type of overreach that our country's founders warned against, and it's the reason that they established a federal system with a separation of powers built on checks and balances.”

“What President Trump is doing is unprecedented and unwarranted. It is illegal. It is unconstitutional. It is un-American,” Pritzker added, per a CBS News transcript.

It goes on, “If this was really about fighting crime and making the streets safe, what possible justification could the White House have for planning such an exceptional action without any conversations or consultations with the governor, the mayor, or the police?”

Pritzker continues, “Let me answer that question: This is not about fighting crime. This is about Donald Trump searching for any justification to deploy the military in a blue city, in a blue state, to try and intimidate his political rivals.

This is about the president of the United States and his complicit lackey, Stephen Miller, searching for ways to lay the groundwork to circumvent our democracy, militarize our cities and end elections.”

“Trump is defunding the police,” was Pritzker’s punctuation to his senile rant against The President.

All along, protesters – paid and grass roots – have been gathering in front of television cameras to express themselves as saviors and do-gooders and anointed, all working together to show their displeasure at the effective means employed President Trump to save lives and protect our nation.

And very often, these reborn last century hippies have been gathering at these far-from-ersatz, impromptu protests, found wisdom enough to bring their dusty ol’ folk guitars to many of these protests.

Sporting long, graying, stringy hair and beards (not just the women,) these street musicians suddenly pull out those six-strings and begin strumming away; as if by magic, they appear to have both the music and lyrics prepared, with a surrounding crowd aware of the words, eager to perform.

While inspirational, these songs all sound alike using basic chords along with mindless strumming accompanying the droning of the guitarist’s “singing,” begs for a set of acoustic earplugs, for mercy.

Yet all these tone-deaf choir members seem delighted, wearing bandannas, neon orange work vests, stupid hats, and smiles as they belt out child-like verses to simplistic melodies. At which point I thought…

Following the lead of geriatric musicians such as Neil Young, who just released an anti-Trump song, I’d like to toss my own hat into the ring. I feel, I too, could jump on the Leftist bandwagon with a song of my own, touting my thoughts and hopes and desires for exposure by Democrat troubadours.

Imagine a cat being beaten with a violin. That voice would ideally be the crooner of my soon-to-be ‘Top 40’ masterpiece. Standing adjacent to this musician impersonator, could be a masculine tambourine artist, likely without a sense of rhythm, both of whom are leading the smattering of malcontents with the following new song:

I HATE America!

I HATE America!

I HATE America!

I HATE America!

Trump is a NAZI dictator!

He hates foreigners

He hates blacks

He hates something else

That I can’t rhyme with ‘dictator.’

IMPEACH! IMPEACH! IMPEACH!

IMPEACH! IMPEACH! IMPEACH!

IMPEACH! IMPEACH! IMPEACH!

IMPEACH Donald Trump, The Leech

He be a racist

He be a misogynist

He be a bigot

Although I can’t conjugate English words

Trump still be a racist!

I HATE America!

I HATE America!

I HATE America!

I HATE America!

While many crime victims are shot in the back

Some are clobbered by pipes and bats

Sure most of the crime victims are black

Too often due to their Afros they don’t wear hats

I HATE America!

I HATE America!

I HATE America!

I HATE America!

I believe I know what you’re thinking. Indeed, it could use a little ironing out, but it is catchy. I’ve got my fingers crossed Bob Dylan gives me a call.

You’re welcome.

Fire These Arrogant Clowns

 

 
Today, I’d like to begin with two questions. To be exact, two personal questions.

If someone thought you were as stupid, would you respect them? There are two simple choices for this question: yes, and no.

The second question is: If yes, and if that person worked for you, would let them continue in your employ? Again, the answers are yes, or no.

This brief survey is a bit more in-depth than at first blush. But we needed to establish parameters for which path this story takes. Let’s begin.

President Donald J. Trump has been in office for a second ride since January 2025. During those eight-and-a-half months, he has taken control of the tiller of government in an attempt to steer our nation back into a course from certain disaster, left by his predecessor.

Correcting our previous out-of-control spending, immigration, ecological, and societal tack, President Trump has used this rare opportunity to give voting Americans for which they voted. Electing him by a large margin, President Trump quickly turned the seemingly schizophrenic Joseph Biden laws and Executive Orders (EO) back into worthless pieces of scrap paper.

Suddenly, America was humming its way back into a prosperous groove to help residents achieve what once was known as “The American Dream.” Rescinding Biden’s EOs, President Trump was able to resuscitate our coal, oil, and gas industries, take inane electric vehicle (EV) mandates off the table, even walk-back restrictive low-flow toilets and shower heads.

America was on its way back. Until Leftist politicians, judges, advocates, and civil servants reared their ugly heads in daily attempts to hamstring President Trump from going “too far” with his Make America Great Again (MAGA) agenda.

Those Leftist politicians, judges, advocates, and civil servants were more than eager to poke anyone wearing a MAGA hat, flying a MAGA flag, or even admitting they voted for Donald Trump, in the eye. Marching en masse across our nation, these naysayers ardently tried to punish Trump voters for merely exercising their right to vote.

Quickly going from zero to one hundred, the civil society scale looked like a rehash of the tumultuous 1960’s. Riots, marches, bullhorns, flag burning, protests, sit-ins, and lootings flashed on cable news shows, while being virtually ignored by the “legacy media.”

Without a Newsmax and Fox News Channel, as well as a smattering of conservative publications, most of these acts of violence and discontent would have gone unnoticed.

Meanwhile, the Trump Administration was busy with the overburdened legal system trying to get the illegal alien invaders out of our nation. Many, but not all, arrived with lofty expectations about receiving freebies in the form of cell phones, housing, medical care, schooling, transportation, and food, and the Biden administration didn’t disappoint.

Of course, being $34 Trillion in debt, didn’t make our floundering nation better with all the generous giveaways by Uncle Joe. Diverting scarce cash to illegal alien invaders and their needs, left hard working Americans short when they, too, could use that money.

Not to worry. The Biden Money Fairies gave away millions of dollars with the hope of handing out billions for repayment of student loans. While a seemingly nice gesture, too many of those recipients were from well-to-do families who could have afforded to repay their own debts.

Alas, it took the election of President Trump in a second term to bring common sense back to an out-of-control society orchestrated by Biden’s More Money Than Brains Club.

One particular effort to regaining sense and sensibility was President Trump’s vision to restore what the Democrats wildly and vocally espoused in both their very public demonstrations, as well as their seemingly countless media appearances regarding Donald Trump: The rule of law.

Without the rule of law, they contended, there is no civil society. That close adhesion to the law brought along “order.” This “law and order” mantra was the foundation for nearly each and every march, protest, thrown Molotov cocktail, broken window, destroyed police vehicle, and beating of innocent non-Antifa victims.

Taking that page out of their playbook, President Trump fully exercised his authority to restore law and order to American streets. And justifiably so.

Police, judges, politicians, and district attorneys alike, are constantly harping against “self-defense” and “self-protection.” The claim is a civilian is not trained and/or equipped to handle situations the way guvment-approved authorities are.

Fully recognizing there are many flaws to this weak concoction of self-importance, guvment authorities continue to insist on calling in “professionals” to handle any and all crime-related matters.

Unfortunately, if the police are called, they are usually late in arriving, if they arrive at all. And if they do arrive, they often explain there’s nothing they can do. Assuming arrests are made if the police do show up, charges will likely be dropped by prosecutors. And so it goes. Alas.

As a result, crime is rampant inasmuch as there are no consequences to actions; crimes go unpunished, thereby proving the theory that ‘anything you subsidize you get more of.’

President Trump noticed this bizarre behavior was rampant in the Democrat-run

District of Columbia (DC), home of The White House, where President Trump currently resides.

An all-out effort to stem the tide of murders, burglaries, car jackings, muggings, and assaults was instituted in DC. After a mere 10-days, car jackings were down more than 80%, while murders during that period were down an astonishing 100%!

But it took the insertion of the National Guard to create optics that gave criminals cause to pause. This astounding reversal of daily mayhem was duly noted by both sides of the political aisle. Republicans applauded this amazing threshold to law and order, while Democrats vowed to oppose any actions taken by the Trump administration to make DC streets safer.

You may want to re-read that last paragraph. I’ll stop writing and wait for you.

While shaking your head in an attempt to digest all this, keep in mind that guvment’s main role is to protect you. In other words, keep you safe. I repeat, keep you safe. But these sleazy politicians are often too busy pandering for votes to get re-elected, to worry about you.

It’s rather fortunate that media whore politicians nation-wide are quickly bellying up to television cameras and microphones for an opportunity to establish their greedy, Leftist, narcissistic motives, exposing themselves for all to see.

Gavin Newsom, California Democrat gubenor, has been mocking President Trump for stopping crime in his state; backing him up is Los Angeles Mayor Karen Bass who is equally angry that President Trump’s anti-crime efforts are successful.

Not to be outdone, expressing an interest to help Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson with his city’s crime-run-amok problem, Johnson has signed an emergency executive order of his own to prevent President Trump from placing federal ‘police authority’ help in Chicago.

Johnson and Pritzker, respectively

Concurring wholeheartedly is 2028 presidential hopeful JB Pritzker, Democrat gubenor from Illinois. Verbalizing outrage that anyone – especially President Donald Trump – would be unwelcome to send aid, or otherwise help, to his state. It seems as though this weekend’s eight murders were acceptable to Illinois’ civil society and its status quo.

There you have it. President Trump is making an ardent effort to keep you safe, and succeeding. On the other hand, Democrat leaders, and wannabes, are fighting tooth and nail against your protection and keeping you away from danger.

Thinking back on the two original questions that opened this essay:

If someone thought you were stupid, would you respect them?

These, and other self-anointed politicians think you’re stupid, largely because they were elected into office by you or people like you, expecting to be re-elected by fools like you.

Keep in mind that those politicians WORK FOR YOU. And since they don’t respect you or are concerned for your safety, do you really want to keep them in your employ?

It seems as though it is time to fire these arrogant clowns.

Pesky Legalities

 

  In the throes of dealing with the perpetually stupid, more than half of our country finds itself still trying to reconcile our seemingly hopeless illegal alien imposition.

Created by anointed guvment anti-sovereignty infidels under the Joseph Robinette Biden administration, an invasion comprised of reprobates from nations world-wide poured over our once-sacred borders – with impunity – to wreak havoc throughout the hearts and souls of America.

In concert with Blue State gubenors and mayors, along with the complicit media, we were summarily introduced to a form of make believe ‘reality.’ This indoctrination was magically injected into everyday language by stretching Peter Mark Roget’s Thesaurus in ways previously unimaginable.

By referring to illegal aliens as undocumented guests, the homeless as unhoused, black and brown individuals as people of color, and drug users as pharmaceutically challenged, our once-reliable English language was being modified right before our eyes to fit an icky agenda to contort the facts.

Begun decades earlier, the dictionary has been subject to erasure in order to fit agendas as a means of preventing debates, as well as neatly fitting square pegs into round holes. Adamantly claiming “no one is illegal,” editing titles to falsely reflect trespassing miscreants as “undocumented visitors” provided a means to an end.

Casting a wearisome tone to related conversations, changing the words also effectively changed the narratives. Suddenly, if a person was an undocumented visitor, they seemed to have a newfound air of credibility. With that credibility also came additional benefits.

Freebies likened to a form of a winning lottery jackpot were showered on these encroachers by benevolent politicians who so enjoyed their turns at the helm they discovered that it was necessary to create a permanent needy group of ignorant citizens, thereby reaping the underclass vote in perpetuity.

Pretty neat, eh?

All that was required was to accomplish this brilliant grift was to afford themselves sanctuary status. As if by magic, one-by-one, cities and states nationwide modified their standing with the federal guvment as now being exempt from federal rules and regulations for the sake of providing safe areas free from legal actions and authority.

Two important haters with an axe against
President Trump, to grind

In other words: Take a hike, Mr. Trump; you’re not our president.

All the while, those self-important politicians from both sides of the aisle decided they were exempt from any and all rules and laws because - well, just because they can.

As such, these political thieves realized, throughout the decades, that they were largely exempt from being held liable for their discretions all in the name of fairness. Unfortunately, that fairness abruptly ended at the steps of the House of Representatives as well as the Senate. As that classic line from Seinfeld went, “No soup for you!”

It seems as though that aforementioned soup comes in many forms when it is being served by our anointed elected schemers. Regularly exempting themselves from mandates in life to which we peons are subject, those politicos receive many lucrative benefits that would make a king blush.

Movie and television personalities; local prosecutors; along with federal, state, and local pols, are regularly seen as far more important than the rest of society to be subject to the rules of civil society.

For example, name calling appears to be a new past time for most of American Leftists. Included in this specialized category of retards are television “news” hosts and pundits. Once thought to be an exaggeration of ‘must-see,’ made-for-TV sensationalism, such raucousness has become commonplace in our once polite society.

Names referring to horrific historical murderers are bandied about with regularity, although without substance. Denigrating entire swaths of people – such as the Jewish race – is embraced with glee without a trace of remorse or consequence.

Vilifying white men for other perceived injudicial sleights has become popular, as has bemoaning white women who are viewed as enemies of societal fairness. Such slurs are employed to demean those who rightly and justifiably earned their places in domestic and corporate America.

Instead, the Lefties – both the lawmakers and cheerleaders alike – have been on a successful campaign to drive a solid wedge between the sane and insane in our fragile culture.

Politicians, such a former vice-presidential candidate Tim Walz, has promised to wage war on those members of America who do not believe men cannot have babies, and those who feel the male and female sexes are different from one another. Go figure.

Still, similar thinking legislators on the federal, state, and local levels have been ardently pushing to continue the misguided approach to permit men to compete against women in sports.

(As an aside: a decade, or so, ago, we were told women in the military were not to be allowed to fight in a war if they were pregnant. During the Kuwait and Iraq wars, many, many female soldiers escaped battle status by becoming pregnant.)

Here’s some free information from a non-doctor and non-biologist: The sexes are NOT the same. FYI.

Yet here we are discussing the situation in which we find ourselves today. Driven by berserk political leaders to believe men are women, racism and misogyny are fine, public humiliation of duly elected public officials is justified, and allowing unvetted miscreants into our nation to degrade our lifestyle is not only accepted, but encouraged has led us into national purgatory.

Protecting law breakers in the form of unjustifiably released criminals from custody, in addition to illegal alien invaders, is not conducive to a safe and sane

We are currently awaiting legal machinations to rectify our derailing of our “rule of law” tenets. Under the color of those laws, we fully deserve a course re-correction to return us to lucidity.

If those corrections include trials, incarcerations, hefty fines, or impeachments, so be it. This road on which we’ve been traveling is quickly approaching a dead end. It’s time for a U-Turn.

A Ride in the WABAC

 

  Now seem like an excellent time to dust off and roll out the WABAC machine. An acronym for Wormhole Activating and Bridging Automatic Computer, pronounced ‘wayback,’ this fictitious device was featured in the Sherman and Mr. Peabody cartoons.

It was instrumental in allowing the two titled characters to time travel for many episodes that were peppered with puns and amusing forgotten history adventures from, well, wayback.

Today, we seem forced to examine what the usually whiny Democrats are suddenly very publicly apoplectic about. Crying like colicky babies, Dems have been, as of late, trying to trip up President Donald J. Trump’s efforts to rein in out-of-control spending.

President Donald J. Trump
We don't deserve him

Beginning this effort with the help of Elon Musk, this pair of masterminds hit the ground running with the creation of DOGE, otherwise known as the Department of Government Efficiency. While not a real guvment agency, DOGE has been instrumental in finding, and subsequently exposing, waste in guvment.

Throughout that roughly 180-day run, seemingly countless fiscal horror stories were brought to light about hundreds of billions of tax dollars being frittered away by overly-generous guvment thieves. It just so happens that all those thieves are, in fact, your Representatives in Congress.

Of course, they aren’t necessarily wasting your money on inconsequential things because they need to, rather they are wasting your money on inconsequential things because they want to.

Imagine strolling about a sandy beach one morning. You’re desperately trying to locate seashells that naturally spell out something indecipherable in order for you to take a fortuitous photo for publication on your X account page to somehow denigrate the President of the United States.

Instead, you realized you, as a Congressclown – not a former FBI director – have the ability and authority to reach into the guvment coffers, to scratch your spendthrift itch. You recall your brother-in-law needs a job, or your cousin wants to travel to foreign lands, or even you’re thinking about feathering your retirement nest egg.

If, as luck would have it, you are not able to reach your grubby hand into the guvment lock box o’ cash, you realize you have a plan B in the works.

A House vote is nigh, and you appear to be one of the holdouts for a massive defense spending bill. You might, or might not, receive a phone call or visit from a defense contractor who would benefit greatly from the passage of this bill.

I’m not implying any money or favors are exchanged, but influence has its benefits far beyond a gratis cheese steak hoagie lunch. Beverage included.

But what concerns me personally, is the barrel of lies to which these Congressclowns are willing to spew to the American public in the name of politics.

Upon exiting the WABAC, we find something called Medicaid, which is a guvment program that provides health insurance for adults and children with limited income and resources. Established in 1965, Medicaid became another battle in the perpetual war on poverty.

Actually kicked around as an idea in 1930 – in the midst of the Great Depression – such a nation-wide health insurance idea was quickly abandoned, revisited later following WWII.

But insuring Americans wholesale would be prohibitively expensive, quickly depleting the U.S. Treasury within a few months.

Splitting the Medicare costs with the individual states seemed more financially palatable. Consequently, states with larger populations absorbing their own costs rather than having smaller, less affluent states footing the bill.

Still, many politicians have been cozying up to the medical community and health insurance giants, alike, for decades.

With the WABAC date set for 2010, we arrive at the passage of the much-touted Affordable Care Act (ACA), also known as ObamaCare. Capitol Hill denizens appeared to find all that nuzzling came with benefits, as is evidenced by the death struggle to pass this overly expensive legislature that seems to have little affect on the affordability of health care.

Immediately following its passage, the ACA was discovered to have been the punchline to the federal treasury joke. There were loopholes, maybes, what-ifs, all explained away by then-President Barack Hussein Obama as ‘too bad, get over it!’

Previously insured individuals often found themselves uninsured, uninsured people discovered they needed to pay sky-high premiums, while most everyone discovered Obama’s promise of being able to “keep your doctor” was a giant lie told with a toothy smile. But the worst part of this train wreck was that Congressclowns had the foresight to exempt themselves from the ACA, altogether. Neat, eh?

Not to worry. Congressional Democrats are currently livid that not only poor Americans are under-insured for catastrophic health disasters, but the estimated 12,000,000 illegal immigrants, let in to our nation under the hapless Biden Administration, are suffering, as well.

And now amazingly, it is all the fault of President Donald Trump. How can that be?

Thanks for asking.

Modifying the current Medicaid plan in order to save precious tax dollars is paramount to the survival of our nation and our sovereignty. Hemorrhaging money to pay for the birth of illegal immigrants’ births, gender reassignments, and abortions sounds awfully noble. But it exudes ignorance on the part of us – the hosts of these law breakers.

Because of the large influx of miscreants, our tax dollars and community chest funds are more than depleted, demanding mo’ money through higher taxes to the point of causing national exsanguination.

Congressclowns are adamant to defile President Trump and his supporters for the sake of Democratic votes. They’re not the “team players,” who “reach across the aisle,” are they? No, they are bitter, angry, evil, vile, and spiteful narcissists deserving of a trip to oblivion.

Let’s hope that someday we will need the WABAC machine to take us to faint memories of the extinct Democrat Party.

Thin Skinned

 

  It’s nearly impossible to greet the day without hearing of someone with an axe to grind.

Just yesterday morning, I was listening to a weekly gardening show on the radio when the topic gravitated towards Gypsy Moths. Gypsy Moths are a serious threat to trees and shrubs in North America. According to the show’s host, Gypsy Moths are insatiable eaters; one fully grown caterpillar can eat up to a square foot of tree leaves in just one day.

This defoliation process can significantly damage a tree, and if the infestation is bad enough, strip the entire tree of leaves within a matter of days. And that is pretty bad.

Thinking I was quite fortunate to not have a Gypsy Moth infestation in my yard, a few callers later introduced the radio horticultural world to someone I would call a “whiner.”

This caller expressed outrage about the host referring to the Gypsy Moths by name. Yep. No kidding. She pontificated about the word “gypsy” being a slur, offending anyone who was a nomadic European Romani.

It seems as though these people originated in India, migrating into Europe. Being referred to as a gypsy is akin to being called someone with street smarts who are constantly searching for their next grift. Con artists, these now-settled Americans are generally grouped with traveling nomads who move from town-to-town scamming unsuspecting people out of money, hence the word “gypped.”

In my opinion, if the shoe fits, wear it. However, this radio caller was angry that the gypsy moniker was applied to a moth. Of course neither the host nor the caller assigned the name to these destructive insects. Yet, she felt it necessary to berate the host thereby demonstrating her superior moral authority.

Too bad she failed. You see, some other anointed gasbag felt compelled to introduce a better name for the Gypsy Moth as “Spongy Moth.” Let’s keep our fingers crossed sponges don’t take issue now.

That got me to thinking about other brilliant ways total strangers attempt to foist their personal principles on the rest of society, if for nothing else than for an imaginary gold star.

Growing up, my grandmother had old, heavy, dark furniture positioned upon oriental rugs. Those rugs were colorful examples of art sewn into patterns with wool yarn that were kaleidoscopic. They certainly brightened up the area, adding a sense of elan to an otherwise drab room.

Once again, those hand-made oriental carpets have been deemed offensive because of their name.

Upon examination, according to sleepbloom.com, “The term ‘oriental rug’ can be seen as outdated and sometimes offensive. It typically refers to a specific style of rug. However, using ‘Oriental’ to describe people lacks cultural sensitivity.”

One example of an Oriental rug

Sleepbloom.com further states, “Critics argue that using ‘Oriental’ perpetuates stereotypes and aligns with colonial perspectives. These viewpoints can create a disconnect between the vibrant cultures that produce these rugs and the general public’s understanding of them. Replacing ‘Oriental rug’ with more specific terms, like ‘Persian’ or ‘Turkish rug,’ offers a more respectful acknowledgment of the unique artistry involved in rug-making.”

You bet.

It so happens that Australian Santa Clauses were forced to revolt, in 2007, for the right to say “Ho, Ho, Ho.” Per medium.com, a firm that supplied Santa characters for Christmas “told trainees that ‘ho, ho, ho’ could frighten children and be derogatory to women. Why? Because it was too close the American slang for prostitute.” Correct.

Next, we stumble upon the horrendous word, “homosexual.” That horrible linguistic unit is deemed unusable due to the fact that homosexuals would rather be referred to as “gay.” I don’t know why, and don’t particularly care.

Then there are the homeless, who take a shine to “outdoor urban dwellers.”

The insane prefer “reality challenged,” as opposed to Democratic Representative, I suppose.

Sex change has become “gender reassignment.” Preferential treatment is now known as “affirmative action.” Robbery is much more succinct in the words “wealth redistribution.” And wanted criminal has been suddenly transformed into “person of interest.”

Dishonest people like the words “ethically challenged.” I see a more precise verbal description in the word “politician.”

You can almost imagine Chuck Schumer using the words “quantitative easing” to really mean “printing money for which we really don’t have the backing.”

We’ve come a long way since the days when a word was a word, while being descriptive without fluff. I believe it’s time to throw this juggernaut of psychopathy into reverse for the sake of clarity without window dressing to prevent hurt feelings.

Cultural appropriation is flattering, not offensive.

Finally, if you’re too thin skinned, remain indoors.

Too Much of a Good Thing

 

  If you hang around cerebral folks, you’ve likely heard the words “adage” and “idiom” escape their mouths.

For the record, “Adages, such as ‘a stitch in time saves nine,’ typically offer advice based on common sense or experience and are easily understood by people across different cultures. Whereas idioms, like ‘kick the bucket,’ convey meanings that can be puzzling to non-native speakers and often culturally specific,” according to askdifference.com

So, when someone uses the words “Too much of a good thing,” that, to me, can be very confusing. In my puny mind, that sentence can neatly fit into both of the adage, as well as idiom category. How can that be?

Let’s say you won the Powerball lottery which carries a jackpot that cannot be described as insignificant. Usually totaling in the multi-million-dollar range, that money brings as much angst as it does glee. Suddenly acquiring previously unknown friends and relatives, magically causes such needy people to appear, wholesale, with open hands.

The same holds true for those people from other cultures who cannot fathom there being any good thing that might be overburdening. Once again, too much of a good thing,

Think about trying to invest, save, be benevolent, even squander your newly found bonanza. Buying a deserving person a car, bar patrons a ‘round of drinks,’ or setting up a trust fund for a favorite relative or lifelong friend, can exude wealth that often creates rifts.

Too much of a good thing, again. As is evident, sharing the wealth, not unlike adages and idioms, can quickly become confusing.

But it was my sainted wife who unintentionally introduced a conundrum into our otherwise simplistic life. Being the end of July, when temperatures are regularly reaching three digits, and humidity on The Eastern Shore approaches 98% – a pleasant 98%, that is.

Personally, I’ve been planting a very modest 4’x6’ garden for over fifty-years, usually consisting of two cherry tomato plants, two Big Boy tomato plants, and often a couple of okras, as well as cucumbers. Each has their own place on my table. The cherries are for salads, Big Boys are used on sandwiches, while okra is for gumbo, and cukes are used in my salads, as well.

Not seeming like an extraordinary number of crops, planted correctly, the cherry tomatoes can yield several two-gallon buckets of fruit, as can the Big Boys, both of which are usually shared with friends and neighbors. The aforementioned okra excess must be frozen or pickled as people refer to them as slimy in their refusal of free veggies; for the record, they’re not.

But over the past few years with the expansion of my modest garden into a 7’x32’ plot, I am now able to plant more everything. I’ve written about cucumbers from my garden before, but now I decided we needed two additional cucumber plants since there was a five foot space adjacent to my newly introduced eggplants.

As luck would have it, this year is thus far promising to be a bumper year for many crops.

From time-to-time, a growing cycle appears in the fruit and vegetable growing seasons. Every four-years, or so, my black walnut trees produced an extraordinary abundance of nuts; other years, my plum trees thrived as did pears and apples in still different seasons.

Alignment of the planets – or whatever causes this phenomenon – seems to be right this year of 2025. As such, our first tomato was picked July 1^st. Since then, it’s been tomatoes upon tomatoes from the Big Boy vines finding their way to our kitchen table.

Quickly approaching the beginning of August, we’ve also been harvesting an extraordinary number of cucumbers. In an effort of efficiency and frugality, my sainted wife has been accumulating Mason jars in order to can these green garden denizens.

A small portion of the cucumber bonanza

Buying them by the case she’s become the best friend of the local hardware store who is delighted to sell these canning necessities. The good news is the washing, sterilizing, creating a brine, peeling, chopping, slicing, and finally canning more than 20-cucumbers yielded eight quarts of pickles.

The bad news is that the very next day, she picked another seven cukes with five more in the wings. Of course she panicked. Of course.

‘

Without a preconceived plan for excess cucumber disposal, she took to making casual, unannounced “welfare” visits to neighbors. And how fortuitous she had a small bag containing at least five fresh cucumbers with her.

‘

Wearing a giant smile, she would begin her conversation with an expression of concern that she had not seen our neighbor in several days. (The reason for that is the aforementioned oppressive heat and humidity.)

While extending her hand holding the bag chock full o’ cukes, she learned how to release the bag, turn her body in mid-air, and skedaddle before the unsuspecting neighbor could scream, “NOOOOO!”

Unfortunately, the neighbors quickly caught on to her shenanigans and subsequent visits were met with them hiding like felons anticipating a felony warrant being served. It soon became apparent the jig was up, and time for implementing Plan B.

My sainted wife seemed to be leaving the house often, at random times. Her excuses varied from “Goin’ shoppin’,” to “Returning a library book,” even “Visiting some sick friend.”

Suspecting something nefarious was going on I decided to surreptitiously follow her. Sure enough, she wound up at the Tallmart store where I espied her sneakily placing our surplus cucumbers in the store’s vegetable bins, cleverly camouflaging them as genuine Tallmart produce which an unsuspecting consumer would hopefully give a new home.

It’s quite a shame that we have so much available food that we are unable to give it away.

And now you have another example of both an adage and idiom: Too much of a good thing.